RR's Report

The Trojan War

Brought to you by the Recksocciated Press

Aulis1, Greece, 1232BC

On this lonely, windswept peninsula, a great city is in the making. Where there was nothing except 4000 drachmas 8 years ago, there is now a thriving town of over 1000 people, complete with a fine Hermes Sanctuary. To thank for this wonder we have Mayor Rodentos, whose diligence has ensured the survival of this outpost of civilisation. When asked for the secret of his success, he directed me to Trade Minister Coinexchangenes.

Coinexchangenes told me that, despite requests from neighbours for food, fleece, olive oil, sculpture, wine and money, it was nevertheless possible to make a profit through the export of fleece, wine and oil, notably to the cities on the other side of the Aegean Sea.

Aulis2, Greece, 1229BC

War is upon us; it was too much to ask that the cities surrounding the Aegean should remain at peace. The Eastern cities have broken away, under the tutelage of Troy, and are now actively hostile to us here in the West. Bronze and sculptures became rare as a result of this unfortunate split, and we underwent a period of serious inflation, which was only curbed by diversifying into other industries.

Despite the growing storm clouds, Mayor Rodentos insisted on keeping aloof from the conflict - he refused to allow any of Aulis's troops to venture abroad under the leadership of others (no doubt helped by the fact that, due to a quarrel with War Minister Pillageus, no triremes have been constructed during these past 3 years).

Rumours now abound that Rodentos is planning on taking the war onto the Eastern shore of the Aegean. When asked, he merely stated that "all options are under consideration, no firm decision has been taken one way or the other". We await further developments with some trepidation.

Tenedos, Eastern Aegean, 1206BC

May I never leave the shores of Aulis again. These past 23 years in Tenedos have been nothing less than terrible. The one saving grace was that all the goods set aside for colony construction made it past the Trojan warships guarding the shores. Without those, we would have had no chance whatsoever of withstanding the Trojan onslaught which awaited us after we landed. After bribery had exhausted the treasury, we were forced to fight for our survival; even your reporter was forced to grab a few rocks in an effort to save us from the barbaric Trojans. After 10 years, we finally managed to complete Athena's Sanctuary, and she aided us in several future battles (Hephaestus's Sanctuary had been completed a few years before, but even he paled at the sight of the oncoming Trojan hordes).

Hector saw to it that any military development we attempted was destroyed before it really got under way, and it was only after Achilles' arrival 15 years in that we were finally able to build up our armed forces with any degree of security.

May you never experience the rage of Mayor Rodentos, for it was truly a terrible thing to behold. Having seen the carnage inflicted by the Trojans at first hand (he commanded the forces in the field on horseback, and even got stuck right in on a couple of occasions). He decreed that all the cities on the Eastern seaboard, with the exception of Troy itself, should be conquered mercilessly. This was, by and large, achieved successfully, with only Ascania resisting our armies.

One thing troubled this reporter throughout his time here - namely, why Rodentos insisted on keeping all housing to the sea-level land, with only Athena's Sanctuary on the high ground to the East. When asked, he pointed to a map showing that the Trojans always invaded from the East - placing housing on the plateau would have put it in serious risk of being destroyed by a Trojan assault.

Whatever the planning behind the layout, it has finally worked, as Rodentos has just left for Aulis, leaving his Deputy Agamemnon in charge here. I shall follow him back to Aulis.

On to the next page