RR’s Report: Athens Through the Ages

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Athens 1, Greece, 798BC

It is truly amazing what can be accomplished in 3 years with 15000 drachmas. In January 800BC, a group of brave settlers, led by soon-to-be Mayor Rodentos, established a settlement on this virgin land, defying an order not to do so from the great King Minos of Knossos. Reports were soon coming in that another village had appeared in the same area; Thermopylae.

Yet all was not destined to be peaceful – in August 800, Minos launched a ferocious assault on the fledgeling community, only to see his soldiers paid off by Rodentos and Finance Minister Richyrichgenes. Not to be deterred, he sent his Minotaur to menace the populace and disrupt the cheese industry which provided all of Athens’s food. However, owing to a miscommunication, the beast arrived on the right hand side of the meadowland on which the goats were grazing, and refused to budge, thereby leaving the city undamaged. Another assault by Minos the following year was again bribed. War Minister Claptheminirons commented “it was a good job we had plenty of money in the kitty, since we don’t have the ability to build a palace and raise an army yet”.

Rodentos was soon receiving emissaries from Thermopylae and the newly-founded settlement at Marathon, both seeking to place themselves under the protection of Athens. Tribute from these 2 places was, however, not sufficient to build up the goods to be set aside for a future expedition, and the necessary fish and fleece had to be imported from Thermopylae.

Athens 2, Greece, 794BC

Athens is burgeoning, and the yoke of the Minoans has been thrown off once and for all. The Minotaur was dispatched without ceremony by Theseus, who was interviewed soon afterwards by this reporter. He said that any city which could provide him with a walled-in hall, which was near the palace and yet enjoyed good desirability, along with 32 marble and 16 wine, didn’t deserve to be terrorised by such a foul creature.

Tragedy struck the city, in the form of an earthquake, but thankfully, no damage was caused, as it was to the left of the large mountain, about 15 squares away from the nearest housing area. When asked what he thought of the middle-of-the-night ‘quake, one inhabitant was heard to say “what quake?”.

Mayor Rodentos gave thanks to the newly-discovered city of Olympia for providing the wood, armor and olive oil gifts which made the conquest of Knossos (achieves with 14 hoplites, 1 trireme and Theseus) possible.

Amphipolis, Macedonia, 792BC

If I were Athens’s Trade and Exploration Minister, I would be extremely fearful of what might happen when Mayor Rodentos arrives back in the city. The expedition to Amphipolis set sail without the fish and fleece set aside 5 years before, due to a bureaucratic mix-up. Luckily, fish was readily available in the new colony, so we did not all starve. Housing was basic, but that’s all that was needed to establish what is, effectively, an economic outpost of Athenian power. Finance Minister Richyrichgenes came with Mayor Rodentos, and set to work exporting marble to make up any potential shortfall of cash. Just as well, as bribery was needed to remove an attacking Mount Pelion army from our territory.