RR’s Report: Hercules’s Labors
Brought to you by the Recksocciated Press
Tiryns 1, Greece, 495BC
Reporter Pencilogenes here, journalist for the Recksocciated Press – The World’s Best Hamster News Source. “Despair” seems to have been the watchword here for the past 5 years – Mayor Rodentos of Tiryns was helpless to prevent trusted ally Cyme being attacked by its enemies. When asked why this was so, he uttered a few choice words about the incompetence of War Minister Greenshieldstamps, and pointed out that he was unable to build any military structures or Elite housing.
There has been fleece flying around all over the place – good job for the health of the city that the housing area is in the West, well away from the sheep grazing in the East. As is always the case when all eggs are placed into the same metaphorical basket, a problem ensued. Over-reliance on exporting fleece produced a price drop, causing some consternation on the City Council. However, it did not seriously impede the town’s progress. Piracy in the Aegean disrupted trade a couple of times, but all was well in the end.
Ephesus, Eastern Aegean, 491BC
From swimming in fleece to walking on bronze, such is the life of a roving reporter. I have seen boxes of bronze heading to Tiryns, both in response to requests and in the normal course of trade. Hercules appeared in the city after our men won the Nemean Games, bringing honour to this part of the Hellenic world. It is reported that not a drachma was spent in acquiring the wine he wanted; allegedly, it was all requested…
Tiryns 3, Greece, 484BC
Poseidon’s attempt to punish us for our perceived infidelity has failed, thanks to the diligence of Mayor Rodentos. Poseidon’s Kraken was unable to inflict serious damage on our city, and was eventually slain by Perseus. Apollo was also under the impression that we were a godless city, and attempted to strike up down with plague – only the presence of Athena prevented a catastrophe.
Mortals have been troubling us too. Cyme, a once-trusted ally, has turned against us. They attacked us (by sea; they landed on the southern beach), but they were annihilated by our rock-throwers and Athena. Hermes has not been idle either – he has fulfilled several requests which have come our way, especially from the newly-discovered cities of Mount Pelion and Mount Malea. Long live the gods!
Lemnos, Greece, 480BC
Aphrodite’s Sanctuary stands proudly on the mountain of Lemnos, with a city spread out amongst the foothills below (despite the best efforts of a tidal wave in year 2 to dislodge it). Mayor Rodentos sought to make the best of a bad job here, having been blown off-course on his way to a much more suitable spot. It is believed that money was not as hard to come by as had been feared; there are plentiful reserves of silver ore and marble, both of which are a potent source of income.
Hephaestus tried his best to remove us from our new outpost, but decided it was more enjoyable to kill off immigrants rather than cause any damage to the city itself. Oh well, to each his own, I guess.